A Big Ass Movie Summer Sans Big Asses

I've been under a rock recently as far as actually SEEING films. A BIG shame considering the Tribeca Film Festival just rolled through my beloved Noo Yawk.


I've heard really good things about The Soloist starring RDJ and Mr. Blame It on The A-A-A-A-Alcohol Foxx (that song is so infectious I may just start calling stuff that infectious Swine Flu).

But the Summer is upon us and it is going to be a summer of BIG ASS MOVIES...unfortunately not one stars a really BIG ASS. What happened to all the BIG ASS actresses? They're in hiding. If I'm wrong, hit me up...


This weekend X-Men Origins: Wolverine is released and as much as I should be looking forward to the release, I'm a bit underwhelmed. A few bad reviews from critics effected me slightly. However, after the horrible review given by my trusted consigliere Kern, it was a wrap in my head.

"Yo, it's on some Saturday afternoon...scratch that...after school cartoon shit! I'm pissed!" - Kern

Welcome to Heartbreak!

I'll still see it...matinee style. I'll even smuggle my own snacks in (recession master style) and forgive my Fox friends for not inviting me to see the film. What I WILL do is send them a "Hiya" and a duly noted on the Wolverine ignoration.


I'm very on board for the next Harry Potter film and at last check, I still have friends over at Warner Brothers:-) So I'll look forward to that invite...hint hint hint...brick over the head to SM & NR. You will be hearing from me soon. Just a little "Hiya, Harry" email ya know!

WB has been doing a great job of protecting the franchise. Which I was recently told on Twitter that I'm less masculine for having read the books on the public transportation instead of quietly in a darkened corner where no one can witness the screaming "death knell of masculinity". LOL Take a look at this...

Wave of The Wand

Dark, spooky, amusing..PG? Umm...Y'all sure about that??

I'm there opening weekend or at a screening. I may even wear a wizard's hat...I KID! But I will have a wand in my pocket. LOL


Hold up! Am I for real looking forward to a Star Trek movie!!??

Take a look at this...

Vulcan Neck Pinch

JJ Abrams has always impressed me with his work. Yes, I said ALWAYS. So I have a feeling after this reboot, Star Wars fans like myself will be screaming "Star Wars reboot!"



Y'all wanna see some BIG ASS Robots??

Transform and Roll Out

Now come on, you can't say Michael Bay doesn't give the audience what they want. That trailer proves it. Megan Fox looking super hot bent over a motorcycle. Shia LeBeauf looking all cutesy and smart for the ladies. John Turturro being quirky and funny. Last, but not least...big ass life-like robots fighting. I'm there first day wearing an Autobot t-shirt...hoping they don't take it too far and ruin the whole thing.


Another film I'm watching closely before release is GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. The full length trailer just released. Take a look...so I can talk to you about it...
Go Joe

Hmmm...right? It's hmmmm...If Arsenio Hall were here he'd be putting his overextended index finger against his overextended cranium and saying "hmmmm". Lots of action in that trailer, plenty of REALLY incredible effects. The Eiffel Tower and jet disintegration shots are pretty damn hot. I did get a little nervous with some of the dialogue I heard. But it's a trailer so I get it. Let's see what they bring...I'm still there.


That's the first released image from NEXT SUMMER"S BIG ASS MOVIE Iron Man 2 as it appeared in today's USA Today(ahem..legal plug..ahem). More than decent shot of RDJ doing his stern Tony Stark stare with the Iron Man suits behind him. Director Jon Favreau's Tweets from the set have been pretty interesting, guarded and hype building. I like how he throws in tidbits about the new suit and how easy it is to work with compared to the last set suit...alas, no twitpics for us.

Nice, Mr. Favreau...real nice with the hype build up.

Ok, I'm done talking about other people's films. Time to go write some more Swine Flu of my own. If you want to keep up with my daily vitriol, work and P90X rants. Follow me on Twitter...

Yes I Yell Into a Dark World Wondering If People are Listening